Why does no one in America give a shit about modern Russia?
-there are several theories about this, but the most popular is because America won the Cold War and is thus dismissive of Russia
• there are also several theories about whether or not America even won the cold war
• either way, I don’t really care

Besides, Russia did like super well compared to other countries in the region!
-they never suffered from foreign occupation
• also they are not Georgia. Shit, who would ever want to live there?
• no one

Super Early Russia Time!!
They all live in the city of Kiev around 800-1200
-but then in the Mongols come in and fuck them up so they’re like shit we gotta move
• so they go north where no one lives!
• the Mongols don’t follow them because they don’t like the cold, I guess?
• please man up and buy some mittens, mongols.

Around 1650 Moscow begins to grow in importance
-has tsars and stuff

The Russian church declares independence/separation from Constantinople because it’s being like taken over by Turks at this point
-Turkish people can’t run the church that’s just fuckin silly!
-Russia also adopt autocracy

Autocracy = one dude is in charge of absolutely everything and is accountable to no one
– except to God but we later see most tsars don’t give a shit about what the church wants

After like 1500 serfdom is developed to keep the upper class from flipping their shit and murdering the tsar

Serfdom is that thing where peasants have to work a piece of land for like a lord or whatever in return for “protection”
-being a serf means you will be poor and miserable for all eternity

So this works out great for everyone yay!!
-except for the serfs of course because they are pretty much slaves :(
• can’t win ‘em all I suppose

Day One – Super Early Russia Time!!
Day Two – Russian People Murder Each Other Like Way Too Often
Day Three – Peter the Motherfucking Great
Day Four – Russia Picks Some Fights for Shits and Giggles
Day Five – Drunken Caroling as a Form of Government

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